Every night at dinner we play the “High and Low” game. It has become a nightly ritual and amazing “aha moments” come out of this game. It allows us to sift through the day in it’s entirety and focus on the greatest part of our day and the not so great part of our day. We listen, we share and we comment. Some of the most valuable discussions about conflict resolution are sparked by the LOWS of this game and some of the best lessons in all things positive are magnified with the HIGHS that are shared.

Lastnight, during our game of High and Low, our 6 year old went and grabbed a napkin and a marker. She took the cap off the pen, drew a triangle and labelled it “Life Cheringel” (this brings to mind a whole other topic on phonetic spelling that will need to be shared later). Anyhow, she proceeded to tell us that this was her Life Triangle and then she began to fill it with all of  the things that are important to her. She segmented out little parts in her triangle… “Here is a spot for soccer” and “Here is a spot for piano”..etc..

As it turns out, she was actually making a plea that she had some extra space in her triangle that should be filled with Musical Theater and could we please sign her up.

Clever approach, yes, but, where does a 6 year old come up with the profound idea of a Life Triangle? I actually like the concept and it sure provoked a lot of conversation at the dinner table. For an hour, we all discussed and justified what was worthy enough to be in our own Life Triangle.

Think about it….What would your Life Triangle consist of?

Translated from the Japanese by Susan Matsui

Have you ever experienced the joy of watching a child do something all by themselves for the very first time? Whether it be learning how to hold their own bottle, feed themselves, tie their own shoe, ride a bike, learn how to sound out a word…All moments of growth in a childhood that mark a sense of  independence and pride. A Bear’s Autumn is a tender story about a child’s “firsts” and a mother’s role in facilitating a few of  life’s lessons.

Mother Bear and her baby bear sit along the river’s edge waiting for the Salmon to swim by. Patience is the first lesson taught as Baby Bear eagerly says,”Will they come? Will they really come?” and his mother calmly responds, “Yes, of course they will.”  Next lesson, courage and determination as the Mother Bear dives in beneath the water and comes up with a big salmon in her mouth. Baby Bear comes over to her and her response is, “Go catch one for yourself”.

How easy would it be for the mother to just give the baby bear the salmon? One of life’s biggest lessons is unveiled: independence, accountability for self, and the ability to be resourceful. Sure enough, Baby Bear rises to the occasion and attempts to catch his own salmon. Not successful at first, Baby bear exhibits bravery and determination as he tries and tries again.

Alas, the triumph and pride...

“Baby Bear eats salmon for the first time in his life. How good it tastes, the salmon he has caught all by himself!”

Complete with woodblock print illustrations reflective of autumn and the colored leaves, this beautiful books brings to mind the Chinese Proverb,

“Give a man a fish and you  feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

We finally found a function for these doors that has made them invaluable! They now serve the function of Largest Home Wipeboard to be found. Our 13 year old daughter was placed in Spanish II without having any prior Spanish instruction. Overwhelmed, yes, but the mirrored sliders have been the greatest study aide. She has been able to draw a giant body and label it’s body parts in Spanish on one side and conjugate verbs on the other. Our  6 year old daughter practices her grouping skills to demonstrate how 3 groups of tens and 8 ones equals 38. Her twin sister proceeds to write all of the numbers counting by 2′s from 0 to 100. Our 11 year old daughter is working on her organizational skills so she is able to make Things To Do Lists ad nauseam and they that don’t get lost, crumbled or accidentally thrown away. We have taken practice spelling tests, played hangman, practiced math facts, written lyrics to songs and so much more. Easy clean up, no waste of paper and ample space for repetition!

Another life lesson reitterated…Function trumps Fashion!

Any other household objects that serve as valuable learning tools that we should  know about?  Please share!

We were getting ready to walk to school (one of the highlights of my day). Kate, my 6 year old, came out with her lunch money and snack in one hand and her other hand was clinched in a tight fist. I said, “What’s in your hand?”….”Oh, a wood chip” she replied very matter of  factly.  I  wasn’t sure what to say next, but I didn’t need to because she proceeded to tell me very enthusiastically all about the wood chip and it’s significance.

Apparently,  she and her friends pick up  wood chips at school.  They pinch a single wood chip vertically between their pointer fingers and thumbs and then release. MAGIC! When they release their pinch, the wood chip  hangs from their pointer fingers. Such a marvelous find! Who thought the park was just for monkey bars, swings and slides? Hover no more parents, there is much to be explored in this world! Have you witnessed any games, either inside or out, that were child created? If so, please share..and A WORD OF CAUTION….check all pockets before putting clothes in the washing machine. (wood chips, rocks, acorns and the like don’t make a washer very happy)

Notice the concentration?

The moment shouting out to me now was not the smiles and excitement that overcame my children on Christmas morning, as they opened their gifts—thought that brings up another thought that made this mother smile, which I will share that next week. It wasn’t the simple joys that come from baking for friends or family or the thrill of getting ready for Santa Claus. No, it was much greater!

The profound moment occurred earlier in the month when, in an attempt to further de-clutter from our recent move, I decided to finally take the piles of my children’s artwork and hang them on the walls. I got out the hammer and nails and spent the morning hanging the visual treasures my children have created over the years.

Fast forward a few hours: I have now picked up my twins from kindergarten and I am in the kitchen preparing their lunch when I hear, “Kate! Kate! Come look!” Followed by, “Ohh!! Aww!” And then, “Mom put our artwork up!”

I couldn’t help but smile and at that moment I realized that there really isn’t a greater gift for children than the gift of recognition! I shall make 2011 a year of recognizing my children in all efforts big and small—I invite you to do the same!

The first day of Kindergarten is a day of excitement for many, but when your little one is hanging on just a little more tightly to your pant leg, and you feel the tears welling up in your own eyes, it’s a sign that both of you may be going through a little separation anxiety. For some children this year, the thought of being left alone in the classroom without their parent brought a few tears, and in some cases, even tantrums.

Although these instances are unnerving to parents, many don’t realize that attachment and separation are all normal processes in a child’s development. Think about how we begin teaching our children early on in their development about the feeling of being apart, and coming back together with games like “peek-a-boo” and “hide and seek,” or leaving them for certain amounts of times with a caretaker while we run errands. All of these situations of separating and reuniting are important lessons in trust, faith, patience, self confidence, courage, pride, and responsibility. It is no different when it applies to the first days of school.

To minimize separation anxiety, parents must remember that children feed primarily off of our emotions. If we exhibit emotions of intensity then those feelings and energies will transfer over to our child. It is important that parents try to remain positive, calm and enthusiastic about the first day experience.

At the kindergarten orientation for my twin daughters this year, the teachers were very specific in their delivery of how parents can help alleviate some the manifestation of separation anxiety. They used the motto, “Short good-byes leave dry eyes.” I also like the sign at the school which also promotes quick good-byes in a loving way, “Hug and Go.”

I hope everyone is through the hardest of the transitioning stages into kindergarten. This truly is an exciting and important time in your child’s development!

Below is a list of children’s books that you may find helpful. If you have any other books that relate to this topic or techniques you’ve used with your children, please share!

• Oh My Baby, Little One by Kathi Appelt
• I Love You All Day Long by Francesca Rusackas
• The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
• I Am Too Absolutely Small for School by Lauren Child
• First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg
• The Berenstain Bears Go to School by Stan and Jan Berenstain
• Welcome to Kindergarten by Anne Rockwell
• Will You Come Back for Me? by Ann Tompert
• Don’t Go! by Jane Breskin Zalben
• Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney

Where to begin?

I feel as though I have been in a perpetual state of transition—from deciding to move, processing what a move would entail with four school-aged children, preparing the house for market, keeping it clean for open houses (again with four kids, a husband, and a dog and cat), finishing out elementary school with a graduation and year-end festivities, wrapping up three Pre K Scholars classes of my own, house hunting in our new town, enrolling the girls in new schools, packing up fragile and sentimental items, saying goodbye to dear friends. And that was all prior to the actual move!

Upon arrival in our new town I can honestly say that I was faced with one of the most challenging moments as a parent—it didn’t last long, but the first two days were emotionally heavy. All of our belongings were still en route, so it was just our family in an empty house. It was time to get ready for bed and in doing so my husband had a great idea, “You all have to come see how many stars you can see in the sky from our own front yard!” Everyone ran outside with excitement!

“WOW! Find a star and make a wish,” he said.

Kate (five) made her wish out loud: “I WANT TO GO HOME!”

Knowing that children feed off of our energy I knew I needed to remain calm, light-hearted and excited, even if all I wanted to do was cry. Could we pull the move off?

It took about two days and getting the girls’ rooms put together before they found a glimpse of feeling like “home.” We are definitely still transitioning, but life is good and through it all I think we have all learned a lot about moving and life. Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned:

• Life is a process
• Change is good—we must all learn to be flexible
• Attitude really is everything
• Perception is a choice
• It’s okay to take risks—you might enjoy the outcome
• Children love being given tasks and being a part of the process
• No matter what your age, we all have feelings that need to be respected
• Communication is so important
• It’s okay to cry
• Adventures are exhilarating and there really is no toy that can rival the joy that comes from a plain old brown cardboard box

To describe my inability to post a blog in the past several weeks, that phrase seems insufficient. It feels more like a computer jam—where so much information is passing through that the wires start to backfire due from overload! A great thought to write about pops into my head and before I get a chance to sit down and write, another one pops up…until I have an accumulation of blog posts ready to go.

The thoughts are there, but one thing is missing: TIME! I just don’t have much of it at the moment. Life is happening too quickly for me as a business owner, teacher of 24 Pre K Scholars students, mother of four (and wife to one). And on top of my normal workload, I’m getting ready to pack up 13 years of memories and relocate the family to Northern California. This is a time of closure and new beginnings all wrapped up in one. A time of sadness, and a time of excitement.

Relocation is a topic in of itself to write about—who knew all that needed to take place to prepare our family for departure?! It has definitely been a mental process during a hectic time of overloaded “end of the year” schedules.

Question: How is a mother to stay grounded and gather personal strength during times of change—big change, nonetheless?

Answer: Her children!

I look to my children for strength. They amaze me everyday by what they accomplish, what they endure and how they tackle life’s offerings, both good and bad. The resilience they possess and the capability to see the bright side of every situation is refreshing. Their ability to be problem solvers rather than victims brings me joy!

The way they look at life as an empty book in which they are the main characters ready to fill its pages with adventure…that is where I get my strength!

I happened to come across a passage from a journal entry written by my 12 year old daughter. It reads as follows:

“Have you ever noticed that everything changes? Most of the time your friends change, most of the time you move, most of the time, well, everyone moves grade to grade. Songs on the radio even change. Your attitudes change. The day changes. Many people don’t notice all of the change going on, but you don’t know how much change IS going on. The change of the second, it is changing…right…now! CHANGE…Many things change in life, so take the time to enjoy it because once time flies, you will never be a kid again.”

Need I say more?